Its KEY

Not wanting to be lonely

In Communication, Griot, Self Improvement on March 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Let me start off by saying that I am very empathetic to anyone who is on LIFES JOURNEY without a loving partner in tow. No one wants to be lonely. So what are you going to do about it?

My mother was married to my father for 12 years. They’ve been divorced for more than twice as long. Mom has gone on to marry 3 other men on 4 other occasions. Yep! You guessed it, she married one of the men twice in the event that the annulment was irrational the first time – all in the name of Not wanting to be lonely.

Me on the other hand, I have been with the same guy since 12th grade and being that I’m a few years past 19 … I’d say we’re kind of serious. For me, the relationship maintaining thing is easy. To me – it’s really no different than living with your family, (Parents and siblings). In fact, I think the “adolescent familial lifestyle” goes along way in helping us to prepare for adult hood as it pertains to the rules of relating; defining what is and what is not acceptable.

When my Mom would yell out “Treat others the way you’d like to be treated“, I thought that was a household motto or something. I took it literal. My mom has 4 children and I’m 2 of 4. If anyone’s going to be understanding – it’s the middle child. Right? I had to yield both ways — to the oldest whose schedule was always non negotiable and of course I had to yield to the youngest because they were young and ill flexible by default. I was always trapped… in the middle. The eldest and I shared a bed and more often than not our baby sister would want to feel closer to us – so she too would slumber in the full sized bed with us. Truly all I ever wanted was to be alone. So much so that I told my high school sweetheart I’d never marry and certainly never move in with anyone. I just wanted to graduate high school and get my own place, bed, and space.

We’ve been together since 1989 and happily living together since 1990. And THAT is why you shouldn’t ever say never. lol! I am anything but single. I think my adolescent familial lifestyle helped me out a great deal in learning to cope with others, in being able to easily accept and move on when things didn’t go my way.

Calibrating? Of course. It’s second nature to me. I’m 2 of 4 remember?

Coming from a big family I learned early that there is little room for selfishness. Compromise was and still is in fashion. Compromise is what relationships thrive on. It’s a give and take.

My Mom is still single and so are a great deal of most of my finer friends. Naturally single people look HOT to me. Its a bi product of the whole “GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE” thing. I like the way they care for themselves and their tailored single dwelling homes. I often compliment them up one end and down the other for mastering “relating to self”. They graciously accept though before our conversation is said and done, they remind me that they’re lonely — and not by choice.

Are you sure?

Not wanting to be lonely is one thing and choice is another.
You never once divorced your siblings, your father or mother.

Unless of course you’re young Macaulay Culkin.
He divorced his parents for being financially distrustin’.

Not wanting to be lonely seems to be a trendy theme.
Marriages start out blissful then unravels at the seams.

Kim Kardashian and many others surely know what I mean.
Lust rules the day and Love is on the wings?

I don’t know… I’m just grateful for my guys shoulder
and to have someone to love me as I grow older.

Not wanting to be lonely is becoming more important to me.
Could it be – mortality? I am recently turned la sexy 40.

My mom laughs and says, “Girl – you’re a baby and you’ll be okay“.
I’m Qui
Not wanting to lonely
and felt compelled to toss the topic your way.

So what do you say?

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