Facebook: Friends and Lovers

In Communication, Griot, Networking, News, Self Improvement on July 20, 2012 at 10:18 am

The social networking site could be the best (or worst) thing to ever happen to your dating life. Follow these do’s and don’ts.

In addition to helping families, classmates and co-workers stay in contact, Facebook has a huge impact on building intimate relationships. But that’s not to say it makes “the love game” any simpler; in fact, it adds another layer of complexity. Ignore certain unspoken rules, and you’ll face severe consequences. For instance, “poke” someone you’re newly interested in, and you’re likely to be ignored or even blocked. Although the feature is a cute way of saying hello to someone familiar, poking a stranger can be perceived as stalking. always observe Facebook etiquette! My advice:

>Do reveal yourself– when you’re ready. Understand that by friending someone new, you’ll likely open a wide window into each other’s life. Within moments of an accepted friend request, you will be granted access to each other’s interests, likes and dislikes, friends and potentially, hundreds of photos dating back years. The new time line feature shifts even more attention to a user’s history. This can be a wonderful tool for learning about someone, but accept or offer that friend request only when you’re comfortable with sharing your won past and a peek into your intimate circle.

>Don’t show signs of digital desperation. Amongst the most infamous Facebook trends is a behavioral phenomenon known as “thirst.” Thirst refers to the desperate and sometimes animal-like behavior that happens when one becomes infatuated with another. Examples of “Facebook thirst” include when all photos and posts are immediately “liked” by a certain individual and when someone repeatedly comments, messages and posts. Men are notorious for being “thirsty”, which has caused many women to shy away from Facebook. You’re not off scot-free, ladies. Hand-in-hand with “thirsty men” are “attention-mongering women.” Posting photos of yourself dressed and posed provocatively attracts their attention.

>Don’t penetrate a tactless tag Any photos taken without implied secrecy, such as posed group shots, should be OK for sharing and tagging online. If a romantic interest requests that you not tag him or her in photos, he or she may be a private person. It could also be a sign that he or she may have something to hide from another lover. Unwillingness to be seen with you in cyberspace (let alone the real world) is problematic if you wish to establish a serious relationship. Evaluate whether a prospective mate sees that same potential in you.

>Don’t feel compelled to post your relationship status It is certainly possible to be officially a couple if you’re not “FB official”. Choosing to parade your relationship status and post girlfriend/boyfriend photos is up to you both. I personally do not recommend posting a relationship status unless one is married. (Simply omitting all relationship prompts will remove it from your profile altogether). Break ups and make ups are so common; why make yourself the pity of all your friends when you go from “in a relationship: to “single”? Save the heartache!

>Do consider de-friending your ex out of respect for the new relationship Although you may be on good terms with your ex, it is a gesture of respect to your current mate to cut ties with past lovers. This goes for online and off-line.

>Don’t use Facebook to snoop on a lover– that is unless there’s a justifiable reason! Has he or she been acting strangely? Have there been sudden schedule changes or unexplained absences? Although your ‘boo’ may use a lover’s inbox to send “the juicy stuff”, it might be worth taking a glance at his or her new wall posts. Posts that include flirting, pet name calling and the like may be red flags.

>Don’t break up on Facebook! A few years ago, a girlfriend of mine changed her status from “in a relationship” to “single” to indicate she was breaking up. This is cruel and embarrassing — especially without any prior notice. Never do online what you should do in person.

[Ref source: I don’t remember in which checkout publication I read this nifty bite of info. but I knew you’d dig it, so I had to share it.]


Facebook is chalk full of fathers and mothers
Is it really necessary to parade any lovers?

I used to dig Facebook before it was cool,
Now it’s chalk full of thirsters that stalk you & drool.

There are tweens, and teens, and toddlers too;
It’s not necessary [new mom] – even if they are cute.

Your boss has a page and the business alike,
Their peeping your pictures and reading what you write.
I’m just not sure this is something I like.

So personally, I’ve backed off. I’m a light Facebook hitter,
I’m Qui

and on the real, I’ve taken my game on over to Twitter.
If you Tweet —> Then HIT her! [@MizQui]

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