You and Me Talking H.I.V.

In Communication, Networking, News, Self Improvement on December 3, 2012 at 7:48 am

Why not you & me? Someone’s got to talk about it. We all know it’s scary, but not everyone is approaching it like it’s a real possibility. Young and old people alike are still having unprotected sex – like it’s okay. I like sex as much as the next, but I am not so trusting that I’d allow a suitor to ‘hit it’ condom’less. I don’t know where he’s been and likewise he doesn’t know where I’ve been. I’m 41 and I’ve heard it all, “It doesn’t feel good with a condom on”, “condoms are too tight”, “I’m allergic to condoms” and the likes. Well guess what:

No condom – No nookie.
I love my cookie and I’m no sexual rookie.

So I’m reading the December EBONY MAGAZINE [2012] issue and come across an insightful read on page 92 addressing World AIDS Day: The Face of H.O.P.E. (Helping Other People Evolve). 1 in 5 Americans don’t know they are living with HIV. Diagnosed HIV-positive in 2007, David D. Robertson works to help others understand that knowing is greater than doubt.

During a biweekly checkup with my chiropractor when I was getting my back aligned, she felt a swollen gland on the back of my neck and suggested I get blood work done because she was afraid I had some type of infection. It was right before I had a tooth extracted. We were both under the assumption that it was just my body fighting off an infection from the tooth. I went that week and had lots of tests administered.

I wasn’t concerned about any kind of test because I wasn’t [sexually] active at the time. I had never been a promiscuous person. But when I got to college, I let my hair down. I became good friends with a guy and a young lady. We started experimenting. I believed they were my close friends. I felt as though it was safe for me to experiment with people whom I thought were close friends at that time. I could count on one hand how many times he and I got together to have sex, but I could never recall how many time I had sex with both him and her. It was an open forum. I was 19 and getting to know who I was. I didn’t use protection. That’s how I fell off and was diagnosed as HIV positive.

After leaving the doctor’s office, I was very depressed. I was suicidal. I tried to kill myself three times in one day. When I reached out to my male friend, the conversation went quickly. I told him I just left the doctor’s office. He said, “Oh no.” He said he had actually been diagnosed with HIV during his senior year and had contracted it through intravenous drug usage. He had begun injecting street pills to get a quicker high. He believed that he was OK because he was taking his medication and that by taking it he would have remained undetectable and not be infectious.

My diagnosis really kind of rocked my world. My aunt was a prostitute. She died of AIDS. My brother was also diagnosed with HIV. I remember thinking that would never happen to me. So when I was diagnosed, all of the fingers I had pointed were now pointed back at me. Now I’m the individual saying I have an infectious disease. I walked into a place and walked out of the same place a statistic.

I was diagnosed on a Tuesday, and on Sunday I went out for a “fun day.” I got drunk with some buddies and eventually got into an altercation and ended up getting arrested. When I was being released, I learned there was a warrant out for my arrest. I was back in jail for three weeks. Long story short: Someone had stolen my identity. But during those three weeks, I had and epiphany. I was lying on the floor in Cook County Jail. I was getting comfortable with mice running in and out of the cell. What brought me to this place of “at least I’m alive” was seeing the mice come in and go out. I came to the understanding that the only free things in jail were the mice. And if they had the audacity to live, then so could I, knowing that I am the cause. I am also the cure.

Now I speak at universities, schools, conferences, churches and youth organizations. I go anyplace there is an open door or an opportunity to speak to youth and young adults. In living a purposeful life, do I have bad days? Absolutely. But those are the days I’m not talking to people, telling my story, helping or empowering others. I’m being used to expose something that has been categorically a catalyst of catastrophe; however, I’m able to stand in the face of this as a catalyst of hope.


Wow and Whoa.
Hitting it without a condom is not the way to go.
Don’t believe the potential suitor who is telling you so.
If he doesn’t have a condom, the answer is: NO.

I have two daughters and they are an extension of my life.
The eldest likes girls and guys who are bi.
The youngest is too young to be indulging in sex.
And I am their source of good health connect.

I tell them what is right and plead them to take care.
I hope that my voice will be their conscience when I’m not there.
I care for them deeply and don’t mean to vex.
I only pray they will wear condoms when engaging in sex.

Can I get an amen? Sex is just a physical motion.
Bi sexual men have found a poster child in Frank Ocean.
Bi sexual girls are plentiful and most always around.
Most guys seeking three-somes find them easily by the pound.

I ain’t mad at nobody’s sexual choices. Life is short – live content.
But by all means wrap up the seams before you decide to go all in.
I’m not hear to tell you what you’re feeling is right – or what you’re feeling is wrong.
I’m just saying HIV is real and the “heat of a moment” should not infect the life long.

Right? I’m a mother with a sensible sexual plight,
I’m Qui
And if a condom isn’t on the shaft – don’t turn off the lights.

You and Me Talking H.I.V.
Is to prevent an ill history.

Contracting and avoiding AIDS is no medical mystery.
Wrap it up brother before you think of sticking me.

  1. I got tested and past my testing.

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