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Archive for May, 2015|Monthly archive page

What the L

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Networking on May 29, 2015 at 1:31 am

talk-about-affairs

Good afternoon good people, take a hit and pass
I’m not on a mission about dissin’ – I’m all about the laugh.

Reality is running rampart, may comedy dispel,
and this little segment is something I like to call:

what-the-l

happy divider

LAWYER ON HIS DEATHBED

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside.

Jack, I’ve got to confess — I’ve been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I’m the father of your daughter, and I’ve been stealing from the firm for a decade.”

“Relax,” says Jack, “and don’t think another thing about it. I’m the one who put arsenic in your martini.”

CHRISTMAS BONUS

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month’s Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.

DELIVERY COINCIDENCES

Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins.”
“What a coincidence,” the man says. “I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.”
A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, “You are the father of triplets.”
“That’s really an incredible coincidence,” he answers. “I work for the 3M Corporation.”
An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets.
The man says, “I don’t believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence.”
After hearing this, everyone’s attention turns to the fourth guy who has just fainted. He slowly regains consciousness and whispers, “I should have never taken that job at Century 21.”

what-the-LYou know how I feel about a good mind and most engineers have them…

THE ENGINEER AND THE FROG

An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.

The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!”

Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asks, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, I’ll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?”

The engineer says, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”

police-pointing-thumbailDISARMING THE GUARD

Lem: “I got fired from my job as a bank guard.”
Clem: “That’s awful. What happened?”
Lem: “Well, a thief came in, and I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I’d let him have it.”
Clem: “What did the thief do then?”
Lem: “He took one more step, so I let him have it. I didn’t want that stupid gun anyway.”

Smile broadly – like you’re slick and peak a little peer curiosity,
I’m Qui
Laughing with you via la comical veracity.

What the L?
Everybody needs to stop and laugh for a spell.

dog-funny-animated

[Jokes compliments of jokes.cc.com]

She’s walking – Time to Emotion check.

In Communication, Griot, Networking, Self Improvement on May 27, 2015 at 11:32 am

The Cupcake Chique & Qui16-years ago my hubby went to a little store called StrideRite and bought the cutest pair of white (hard top) walking shoes. They were the cutest thing. Our daughter was 13-months old and walking, but I didn’t ask for shoes. I asked for the crib be assembled, and for the Winnie The Pooh bedding be put into place, including and especially the rail bumpers. I asked that the Winnie The Pooh wall decals be put up. I even asked for that cute little Pooh lamp to be placed on her night stand – it comforted her through a few late night rain storms, when she couldn’t sleep – but I didn’t ask for walking shoes. Fashion baby shoes with soft soles were fine, I mean, I knew she couldn’t go out bare footed, but it’s something about the attached commitment to buying walking shoes that I didn’t want to sign off on. I knew that once she had walking shoes, she’d be walking out of here for higher learning, dates, and ultimately walking down the aisle and into her own household.
No! I didn’t ask for walking shoes.

I asked my husband to take them back, but he had already made peace with the situation that was LIFE UNFOLDING, he laughed at me and put them onto her feet. That was 16-years ago. It was a joke then. I joked that I didn’t ask for walking shoes, but somewhere deep on the inside — I think I meant it.

16-years have passed since she received her first pair of walking shoes, over the last 4-years she traded them in for running shoes and joined the cross country and track teams. This kid has walked, ran, and sprinted through the last 16-years. I’ve enjoyed every motion, every stride, still consider had she done it soft soled shoes — maybe she wouldn’t have done it so quickly, but then again, she may have orthopedic problems. lol! 🙂 16-years has only felt like a few. I still blame the shoes. However, judging by the way she’s walking into college, I’d have to say those shoes were actually pretty awesome! Look at her form.

decorative-line-divider1

I said, “Daddy, don’t do it!” but he bought those darn shoes anyway
and today is the day that she turns a new page and graces the commencement stage.

She and her friends think it’s ‘all the rage,’ but to me, it is a change in progress.
She’ll be in a dorm and fine and the domestic time will be mine, we’ll both survive at best.

Life goes on and we’ll all keep walking
but to her father, I won’t be talking. 🙂

No one asked him to buy those shoes at all.
Now a new life awaits the mini-me, still small.

Without stall she will receive her high school diploma – today,
I’m Qui
Fixing my face, my mind and my attire to see my daughter walk away…

It’s the life we prepped her for, the one she’s been yearning.
Today my high schooler graduates and walks into higher learning.

Sleep thief – after my teeth!

In Communication, Griot, Music, Networking, Self Improvement on May 25, 2015 at 8:28 am

the-teeth-grinderSound asleep, quiet, and way past the twilight
I’m awaken by the sound, “crash, boom, pound!” —
it duly disturbs the still of my night.

I see nothing at the opened slant of my heavy eye.
The noise wained quickly – was it a car passing by?

Drifting back off to sleep, I ride the dreams that carry
then I see flutters of yesterdays rutters — it’s ye old Tooth Fairy.

But she is a flickering and fleeting blur,
though as the night noises rile up, the tooth assaults occur.

At one point, I was in so much pain that I could not sleep,
I started to feel like George Washington and opt to lose my teeth.

Just take ’em Lord Jesus! 🙂

But I’m no adolescent, my gums aren’t reproducing but permanent and otherwise mellow.
The perpetrator, my late night invader is that rigid grinding fellow.

Do you know him? Go-getters peg him best
as that dude who loves to ride your enameled vibe during times of stress.

He doesn’t want your teeth, he just wants to make the sound
of your top and lower teeth, in a ridge-to-ridge beef
doing ‘the San Andreas ground.’

Not a Clipse brother but I’m grinding and I’m doing so at night.
I wear a guard brace, between the gapped space to lessen the damage of fight.

Most of the time I sleep soundly, but as late at once a month
I awake to noise from my face, the guard is caught up in the crunch.

It sounds like there’s a thief in the house though no one is disturbed but me.
In my deepest sleep, I’m trying to retreat to alert my he that there may be a thief.

I awake to find a deep slumbering he and a home that it quiet,
I also am aware that my guard is mangled but fair – having survived the bone riot.

My God the pain that follows and lingers for days
and interrupts my daily broadcast of encouraging sun rays.

This bloody grinding has become a monthly phase.
No fairy visit or financial raise,

there is no corrective measure for this cousin to TMJ.
So I try to sleep harder and forget not to put the guard in place.

Thief! Thief! I declare thief!
I’m grinding so loud that I’m loosing good sleep.

Thief! Thief! Of charges – I count two.
Lack of sleep and grinding is something I shouldn’t do.

The oral surgeon understands and he offers a suspension-like mouth guard,
looks like DuPont manufactures it, and it would absorb the grind – good Lord.

There is another option, but far from it whilst I roam,
Doc says they could break and reset the structure of my jaw bone.

You better get on from here. Ooo child,
Doc said, it may or may not ‘change my smile.’

Hm. That suspension guard is looking better, durable and strong,
Doc said it will yield me help and only costs 1149 bones.
Now I’m on a fundraising jones. lol! 🙂

Life is good. I laugh and live for the write,
I’m Qui
Happy Monday morning to thee – to grind less is my plight.

It get’s better and better with each ray of the suns light.
Let me get my homeopathic‘ness on. Knowledge for a pain-free life.
ISO the silver lining via binded herbal writes.