Sex at 40 – Good Lordy!

In Communication, Griot, Networking, Self Improvement on October 23, 2015 at 3:06 am

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord, my soul to keep

and if my spouse should “rise” before I awake
I pray my response be on the “willing take.”


 Not 40.
Not your problem?

Well Lordy, Lordy,
Qui is 40 


I love the men that love us.

… and she likes it.
So I’ve been nothing but on-top of this “Sex at 40” research for at least a year, not because I just turned 40, but because I wanted to be prepared. When I was younger I always heard that a woman reaches her sexual peak at 40 and all I remember hearing after that statement was a bunch of sounds like, “Wooo! Yes child!” and “It’s good!” All were good hints informing me that better sex is on the way.

Better sex? Sex in my 20’s were fantastic, some interludes were a little more rougher than others, but I became a lover of the cardio moments and I just wanted to know if sex tomorrow would still be marathon and WWE status or if it would turn into sweet, romance novel cardio with a side of grapes, olives and champagne. Well I can tell you this, sex at 40 surely includes grapes, olives, and champagne. I know because I brought them to my bedside and I consumed them. lol. Other than than, the changes from 20-somethings sex to 40’s-sex is not a sharp curve at all. In fact, I’m approaching it with speed and I’m wearing heels.

Perhaps it’s because I had a good 30-somethings sexual run? I used every year of that decade to make sure I fully understood all that I learned in my 20’s. I went over it and over it and… yeah, I think I understand the intro mechanics just well. I felt pretty well oiled and well versed on the subject.

So what about Sext at 40? What do you need to do and what do you need to know? Well, I don’t have all of the answers but I am willing to use myself, in research, to find out. For the good of us all — of course therefore, I thought I’d share this little treasure trove that I found on Prevention Magazine‘s site.  The information dealt seems to be geared to ‘helping the woman calibrate,’ but my darling men, if you want to ‘dazzle your bedmate with more understanding and connecting to her comfortability – then by all means, this is for you too.

The info is yummy, it’s funny and it’s prime for the picking.
This info is for you if you’re 40 and still ‘sticking:

“From sex myths to sexual etiquette to health-boosting bedroom tips, these are the truths about sex every woman should know.

1. He doesn’t care if you’ve shaved.
Really. It doesn’t even cross his mind.


Shaving, laser, wax…

2. Wide beats long every time.
If you care at all about penis size (and studies show that women are far more into how penises look than how they’re hung), you know that width matters more than length.

3. All the girls are doing it.
Masturbating, that is. In a survey by AARP, nearly half the women between the ages of 45 and 49 said they had taken matters into their own hands in the previous 6 months. And many women have used more than just their hands. In a 2009 survey by the University of Indiana, more than half the respondents had used a vibrator at least once, and nearly one in four had used one in the previous month. (The pros know it, too. Here are 18 sex toys sex therapists love—and use themselves.)

4. He likes the cuddling part…
…and not just because he’s half comatose when you snuggle up after sex. During lovemaking, both men and women release the chemical oxytocin—the so-called “cuddle hormone” that helps new moms bond with their babies. So what does than mean for men? Oxytocin boosts their desire for intimacy, along with their feelings of trust, according to a 2008 study by the University of Zurich. And in this case, what’s good for the gander is good for the goose. Want to increase your cuddling power? Here are 10 science-backed ways to boost oxytocin levels.

5. You really can tell a guy’s size by his hands.
The longer a man’s ring finger, the longer his penis, a study by the University of Liverpool shows. Both are determined by the amount of testosterone he was exposed to in the womb. If his ring finger is the same size or smaller than his index finger, he received lower levels of testosterone. If it’s bigger…watch out!

6. It’s worth a try.
Variety is the spice of life…and of sex. Whether you do it in a hammock or an airplane; on the kitchen floor or in the shower; dressed in leather or in lace, if it’s new, it’s improved. (Get a little wild with these 11 new sex positions.)

7. Porn is hot.
The idea that women take longer to get aroused just isn’t true. Show us some skin and we’re off and running. In a 2007 study, women who watched porn got turned on as quickly as men did. Using thermal imaging technology, researchers at McGill University in Montreal found that while watching porn, men became fully aroused in 664.6 seconds (11 minutes), compared to women, who took 743 seconds (12 minutes).

8. Say Ohh instead of Ohm
Craving the calm you get from yoga? Go for an orgasm instead. You feel relaxed after climaxing because you were practically brain-dead while you were doing it. Using scans to measure brain activity, researchers from the Netherlands found that women experience no emotions during orgasm—including fear, anxiety and stress. When you’re in the throes, there’s no worrying about the kids’ report cards, the weekly grocery list or the pile of bills on your desk. But it’s a chicken and egg situation: The only way to reach orgasm is to clear your head of that stuff to begin with.

9. Faking it: pointless.
Showing him what you like; brilliant.

sexy adult woman posing in the summer isolated on the white background

Keep your socks on.

10. It’s better with your socks on.
If your sex life isn’t hot, it may be because you’re cold. Research from the Netherlands shows that couples with cold feet had a harder time reaching orgasm—only 50% made it. When couples put on socks, the number jumped to 80%. (Check out these 5 more tips to make sure you get there every time.)

11. Honesty: Not always the best policy.
So you’ve got thought about cheating—maybe even stolen a kiss or snuck out for coffee. Should you confess to make up for it? No way. Coming clean only inflicts pain on your partner and damages his sense of trust. If you want to protect him and keep your relationship going, swallow your guilt and keep your mouth shut.

12. Love is in the air…
…as long as your man doesn’t shower after his workout. The musky smell of male sweat can be a real turn-on for women. In a 2007 study from the University of California at Berkeley, the scent of a man boosted women’s sexual arousal, mood, heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate.

13. It’s never too late.
Even if having sex is something you do only on birthdays and Bastille Day, you can always get back on the stick. All you have to do is…have sex. You may have to force yourself at first, but the more you do it, the more you want to do it. Start with once a month, then once a week, and who knows? Maybe you’ll be a once-a-day woman. (Follow this plan to makeover your sex life in 14 days.)

14. When it comes to how big, how often, how many times in one night…
…your friends are lying.

15. Phone sex is worth trying.
It’s the next best thing to being there, but not that many forty-somethings know it. According to a survey by AARP, only 17% of men and 18% of women between the ages of 45 and 49 have had phone sex. (Check out 9 more ways to feel closer in 5 minutes.)

16. Nobody does it better than you.
You can lie around waiting for your partner to bring you to orgasm, but you’ll get there a lot faster if you take care of it yourself. When women masturbate, they typically climax in less than 4 minutes. When they’re engaged in foreplay and intercourse, it can take 20 minutes. Your best bet for a speedy climax: using a vibrator.


October is a great time to “get into” costume… JOIN ME.

17. Fantasy is fabulous.
If your regular sex routine is a little stale, invite Johnny Depp and his pirate hat into bed with you. Losing yourself in a sex fantasy spices up the real thing, and boosts your overall sex drive. Sharing certain fantasies can add even more zip. In an ABC News poll, more than half of all men and women said they talk about their fantasies to boost their sex lives. The most common fantasies?  (Find out what your strangest sex preferences say about you, and how they can help your relationship.)

18. If you’re too tired, it’s too bad for him.
The best thing about getting older is that you can do—or not do—whatever you want. Say it nicely, and your partner should understand if you’ve got a headache or you want to binge-watch House of Cards instead of making love. Unless, of course, the marathon—or the headache—is a weekly event.

19. Size matters—to him.
A survey of 50,000 heterosexual men and women showed that the vast majority of women (85%) felt satisfied by their man’s size, while nearly half of all men (45%) were unhappy with their package. Let him know he’s all you need.

20. He doesn’t care…
…if you wear flannel to bed.”

corset divider

Now if upon these 20-points you did fairly score,
I applaud you with a tease – because there’s 20 MORE.

Where ever are they? You’re surely ready to read,
I figured I’d give them to you in a 2-part feed.

That way you won’t overload and to thyself lie,
about the 20 previous points that you may ‘overlook in try.’

It’s the weekend baby and wether or not you’re 40 – give it a go tonight,
I’m Qui
and Sex at 40 is quite the taunt party – as of late… just leave on the light.

Today: Utilize this info. in your bedroom.
Stay Tuned: because we’ll mount 20-MORE soon.

Partake in Pt.2

  1. […] you’re in your 40-somethings head with inhibitions I’m divvying out the last 20 tips on 40 Things You Should Know About Sex By Age 40, and they […]

  2. […] in case you missed the last two posts of 40 tips I thought I’d put this ‘texture‘ on your […]

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