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Archive for March 12th, 2017|Daily archive page

My white parent(s) love me…

In Communication, Griot, Networking, News, Self Improvement on March 12, 2017 at 7:43 am

mom & daugherMe? No, my parents are not white. Both of my DNA contributors are of African American decent. My father is a 5’5, small framed man with fire red hair, red beard, and freckles covering the fair skin on his face. My mother is 5’2, thicker than a Snicker, with high cheek bones, high-yellow fair skin, and silky, wavy hair. I am a deeper brown mixture of the two. Again, my parents are not white, but I happen to know many parents that are white and more than a few of them have children that look like me. I’m always drawn to such familial scenes. It reminds me that race wars are fad fodder issues and that we can indeed put them to an end.

My former best friend has the best hairstylist in Arlington, TX. Heather‘s hair is always perfectly pitched, it matches her Martha Stuart’esque hospitable ways. She’s a straight laced, conservative gal, who loves her family. Heather is married to black man and their offspring is a beautiful mixture of the two of them. Heather guardians her son at all costs with love, nourishment and wisdom. She loves a lot like me. It’s always been a pleasure to know and love Heather. We are only not as close as we used to be because of the curve of time. We used to be neighbors in Arlington, TX for about 15-years… that was before I moved to Phoenix (6-years ago).

My sister-in-law has the biggest heart and a huge propensity for a sharp pair of pants. She’s cardio fit and curvy. She owns a couple of pairs of white pants that makes me want to put in a few more minutes in Aerobics class… maybe another hour. 🙂 Angela has 4 sons and is married to my brother. As fair skinned as the beauty from Kansas is, her sons are black. I’ve watched Angela for more than a decade now shape her family to what she wants it to be and the only color differences I have ever noticed in her household is as it compares to fashion. She has an awesome pair of gray pants that I love as well. Angela’s love for her children is priceless… much like mine for my children. We have much in common: Kids, love, fashion…

kristen-davis-and-daughterThen there are Kristen Davis (Sex In The City Co-Star) and Mike Berry (Columnist for Babble.com) and their stories.

While surfing familial stories online I ran across this heart warmer on Babble.com, (a Disney content supported site) and I found Mike Berry’s column on “BEING THE WHITE MOTHER OF A BLACK DAUGHTER,” and I knew I had to share it with ya. Now the column was comprised from a quote that Kristen Davis said in reference to her daughter,

I am white. I have lived in white privilege. I thought I knew before adopting my daughter that I was in white privilege, that I understood what that meant. But until you actually have a child, which is like your heart being outside you, and that heart happens to be in a brown body, and you have people who are actively working against your child, it’s hard. It fills me with terror.”

Wow! I have to say Mike and I feel her concerns, deeply and intuitively. I have a African American child myself. I only learned that Mike Berry is in this boat with us, when he said in his Babble column:

“Her words took me back, 15 years in the past, when we held our newborn baby girl in our arms. I remember looking at her with a sense of awe. Her beautiful brown skin, exotic dark eyes, and soft brown hair captivated me. I remember feeling an intense love for her that still burns as brightly today as it did then. Love so deep, I never knew my heart could reach those depths. But at the same time I felt these beautiful emotions, I also felt afraid. There was no question in our minds that she was ours. We were her parents and she was our daughter. But I worried about the world around us. For a moment, I feared what it would be like to raise this precious girl in white suburbia. I worried about the potential hateful things people would say to her, or do to her. I felt like taking our newborn baby and running far away, where no one could find us. With every ounce of my soul, I wanted to protect her.”

Believe it or not, I feel the same way… Isn’t there enough of us to bind together and start effective change?  We can’t change the hearts of everyone at once, but we can begin with  one conversation at a time starting with those we love the most and are closest to.

African American children with white parents are not a new phenomena, even though President Obama put a winning face on those children while pushing this country out  of the recession of 2008-2011. His character was so outstanding, that many (now new parents) got to work making their own DNA designer children in the name of love and are now actively changing the face of race for the future.

African American cultures are very accepting. We love our children be they white, black, tan… we love them. We love yours. African American women were made to raise the children of plantation owners as a non-negotiable duty. What the slave masters didn’t realize is, there was no need to force us to care for the children. It’s in my default spirit to LOVE and accept. Personally, I only have two children and if given a choice I’d only work with children from here on out. They have great hearts, brilliant minds and big ideas that I want to be a part of. I know a couple white kids right now – that I’m not so sure that I didn’t birth myself. lol! 😀  They remind me so much of ME. I call them my children. I’ve got their backs and their Moms backs too. We’re family.

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qui-quo-feb2017

I’m head over heels in love with my children

I love my daughters so much – that I don’t know what to do.
I’m a parent whose got love for you and the love of your kids too.

We are all in this together and our kids need not know
that they were born into a cesspool dubbed ‘the race hate show.’

White hoodies are not in fashion, or marketed for kids play –
so why do we continue to let their limitations run the day?

White people with Black children have embraced joy by far
because they could not refute the love or the size of their hearts.

Logic is about being smart, but logic doesn’t come into play
when God gives you a child. They are the sun in your day.

Heather, Angela, Kristin, Mike and myself are parenting Black offspring.
And each of us will go to the earths end if we could ensure that it will bring

a less bias world and more opportunities for them to love,
I’m Qui
On some familial “ooo wee – that we need to look at and hug.

Why are my white family members so fearful for their kids sake?
Talk about it today — our best futures are all at stake.

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