Life can be serious and often, not so kind,
so when I can, I gracefully yield to making new Laugh Lines:
Two elderly women were out for a Sunday drive in a large car and both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light”. After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through, and she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!” Mildred turned to her and said “Oh, am I driving?”
An airplane pilot had had a particularly difficult flight and a rough landing. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a “Thanks for riding Royal Airlines.” But, in light of his bad landing, the pilot had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no, Ma’am,” replied the pilot,” “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?” 🙂
Never mind satellite news today – tomorrow it will ramp up more.
For now, dowse out “suspicion” with this next J/K score:
A lady was complaining to her husband about remodeling her kitchen. “You have been telling me you were going to get me new cabinets for ten years!” said the wife. “They are a luxury and the ones we have are fine.” the husband replied. The next day the wife goes to visit her mother for two weeks. When she returns she is overjoyed to see a brand new kitchen waiting for her. She was so thrilled that every night when the husband got home she would have his favorite meal on the table and after dinner she would rub his feet as he read the paper in the recliner. A couple of weeks later a neighbor came by for a visit. After admiring the new cabinets she says, “All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the Kitchen.”
The last joke has so many “issues with it,” that I don’t know where to begin…
Let’s just say I’m glad the husband scored and no other square footage was singed.
.
Aw. It’s okay to laugh every now and again… actually, as much as you can, Boo.
I’m Qui
Hello to thee:
CLICK #GO VOTE
Qui Entertainment Magazine 