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Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

Throwback LAUGH TRACK

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Networking on June 6, 2018 at 5:20 am

I originally posted this piece in June of 2016.
It’s funny how life comes back at you in calendar full swing.
I feel like laughing this morning and this throwback will do the trick.
It’s only right to share it with you because these one-liners are a hit. crazy-smileyface

sharky-wives-tail-humor

Well actually Dan Pearce of Single Dad Laughing titled the post and I concur. The following funnies are the BEST. SHORT JOKES. EVER. today. 😀  I’m a fan of laughter and new lines are born every day which makes these perfect for you to HUMP TODAY before tomorrows list arrives:

  1. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  2. What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.
  3. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
  4. Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum Tish!
  5. There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted…
  6. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
  7. What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
  8. food-wrap-battleWhat kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
  9. How does Jesus make tea??? Hebrews it.
  10. A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungi!”
  11. I never make mistakes…I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
  12. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?…Ba-na-na-naaa!
  13. What did the little fish say when he swam into a wall? DAM!
  14. Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. (finish this joke in your head)
  15. Where does a sheep go for a haircut? To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!
  16. What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
  17. Why are pirates so mean? I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!
  18. Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!

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ABOUT YOUR MOTHERevolution

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.” 😀

the-ropers-tv-programs-photo-u1Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

On the bus…
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

The Laugh Factory Comedy Network is my goto when I want to laugh in short.
The last 3 jokes that you’ve enjoyed were borrowed from their stash of sorts.

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Take a hit and get goofy lit — no joke is too long.
I laughed at ’em all, though THE MOM JOKES were strong! 🙂

Why did they call that ladies baby a monkey and how did this all start – evolution or creation?
I’m Qui
Laughing well on this Wednesday morning, no deep thoughts just yawning while making a simple relation:

LAUGHTER is GOOD for the SOUL.

DO IT
Today.

Weighted by PaperBoi

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Networking, TV Shows on April 16, 2018 at 4:11 am

Atlanta

Earnest, Darius, and PaperBoi in ATLANTA

Goodness, gracious, I do love that series ATLANTA.
I watch it by my lonesome for no unnecessary co-banter.

The writers keep a handle on what’s real in the hood.
I laugh, I get a little nervous, but in the end – it’s all good.

The situations? Some are new but most are relatable and well understood.
I live in the southwest, but I originated from a third coast hood.

Atlanta is good cultural food for me in the desert lands of Arizona.
FX gives the best ride of a laid-back vibe from the south upon ya.’

Have you been watching? I’m certainly a PaperBoi fan.
When an opportunity is in the air, he strives to catch it if he can.

Often times, he misses.
Still, his bars are full of dope disses

and he remains largely popular in his hood.
Comedy is at its largest when PB is misunderstood.

There was an episode where PaperBoi was in the backseat
of his hustler man’s car trying to score some weed.

Everything was going alright until
the hustler pulled a gun and -ish got real.

The hustling driver looked in his rearview mirror and said without stall
while pointing a gun into the backseat, “Eh, yo. I’m sorry dawg.”

I’m going to need your bag of cash because my son is sick; today I ain’t selling weed. ‘
Then he asked PaperBoi to get out of his backseat and to relinquish his car keys.

He and hustle man went way back; they had a history that was long.
PaperBoi ended up with dry mouth, empty hands and a sober walk home.

Any chance that you met Bibby? He’s all over episode five or six.
He’s PaperBoi’s barber who’s always in some illicit -ish.

The episode is funny as all get-out, so I won’t say too much
except for it takes an entire episode for PaperBoi to get a haircut.

You would not believe
the day that unfolds– and again with no weed. 🙂

Why is weed a staple in the script?
Because it’s Atlanta and the writers keep it real.

I don’t know, exactly, but I can relate
to what the writers are serving on the FX series plate.

Dip in and DVR the show if you can’t watch it when it airs.
Donald Glover isn’t childish with his gambino – in fact, he’s quite fair.

A successful future, for him, is in the air. I’m glad to be watching.
I’ve set my DVR to record ATLANTA because it’s the vibe that I’m copping.

I’m a southern girl on this Monday morning. I was southern last night before I went to bed.
I’m Qui
Awake and refreshed, a good nights sleep is best – after yesterdays soul food meal and cornbread.

‘Like the society in Atlanta, your girl Qui stays fed! 😉

Mix It Up, Baby

In Comedy, Communication, Movies, Networking, Self Improvement, Video on March 16, 2018 at 7:20 am

Game-Night-1.jpg

We’ve finished this week of thirds in victorious might.
My segue to getting here came to a head,  after GAME NIGHT.

That’s the name of the film that I saw last night at AMC theater.
Laughter reigned from beginning to end, as far as I can remember.

I actually tried not to laugh too boisterous or hardy
as not to miss any dialogue being transferred to a party.

I saw the late show but was safely home by the stroke of midnight.
A movie a day won’t keep the doctor away,’ but it will lend a cinematographer student insight.

game night_comradery.jpgI need all of the light on this journey, that I can bask in.
I laughed so much; Jason Bateman is touched
and Rachel McAdams comedic sense is a win.

Pappadeuxs, a little homework, and a movie – I got it all it in,
and now the excitement of another workweek finally comes to an end.

Are you ready kinfolk? Are you wearing your dancing shoes?
Life is a game that must be played,” and I don’t want to lose.

Life is full of battles – we should be careful to pick and choose,
I’m Qui
Good morning to thee, keep laughing and showing your teeth; be mindful to mix up your groove.

Sources:
IMG 1: http://www.withlovela.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Game-Night-1.jpg
IMG 2:  Hopper Stone/SMPSP/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Mondays Reign

In Comedy, Griot, Movies, Networking, News, Science, Self Improvement on July 24, 2017 at 6:51 am
girls-trip-poster

Click the pic and hang with the clique

Good morning baby. What’s up?
Did you spend your weekend in the cut?

Did you rise early after bedding late?
Is your SUPER HERO m.o. – always in the office before 8?

I dig your style dear child and today I am working from home.
Things will be semi-different because I usually work alone,

but not today.
Todays desk project calls for absolute SLAY!!

And I’m all in.
IN so deep, I brought a friend.

Two heads are better than one
and Monday Mornings were made for fun!

I’m excited and I’m on it. You wouldn’t shut down at desert would ya?
No! I’m just glad to be in this seat and not that of Jared Kushner.

My sinus’ are quite flared. Arizona’s rain storms are duly moistened the agricultural gardens.
Mother Nature came in strong, but she wasn’t wrong – therefore she needs no general pardons.

Today we’ll be script writing, re-writing and think tanking.
I woke up early to get with it — to God I am thanking.

It’s good to be alive and able to craft my own vibe on this fun day.
Kinfolk, it ain’t no joke, I get real excited about the new of Mondays.

What about the weekend? What did you get into?
I went to see GIRLS TRIP and bonded with the audience group.

jordan-peele-sweating-buckets.gif

we were sweating profusely in REGAL THEATERS in Gilbert, AZ

We saw the film in Gilbert, AZ at REGAL, a movie theater with sweet recliners.
But the A/C was not live in theater 5. Our viewing experience could have been finer.

The facility itself was cold as ice, the lobby, the loo and theater 4.
I know because I took a bathroom break and dipped into 4 to “feel” the score.

It was cool. Real cool. The way I like to be pampered
so I sent my date to the front to inform the manager.

He did, as did several other patrons in the place.
But the air struggled to come through and cool off the space.

Now keep in mind they ask you for an additional fee upfront for their elite accommodations.
I always pay with pleasure. I dig the supply and demand relations

but I couldn’t relate to the hellish fate we endured
however the film was EXCELLENT and proved to be the cure

that kept us all silent and sitting in place.
GIRLS TRIP was off the hook; the audience was multi race.

We sat side by side, we smiled and we laughed.
We watched few step out — the heat was pretty bad.

Of those that stepped out most reported the 411
though it appeared management was rooting for our experience to be undone.

They smirked and tended not to our requests to have the A/C come on,
still kinfolk, you’ve gotta know GIRLS TRIP was the BOMBS!!!!

Have you seen it? If you have not
this is a date night that you’ve got to cop!

Especially if you’re wondering what’s up on my many girl trips.
Let the curious peep this to comprehend what I’m working with.

Good times are definitely being had
and even in the heat — we put off mad.

Though immediately upon the credits roll
the heat that we suppressed came due and on swoll.

We all started to exit, immediately with no words.
I, in my fedora, headed up the march – I was first.

Actually, I did not know
that in the same direction we were all about to go.

I just knew, in good customer communicative fashion
that I was duly on my way to the front to speak to the manager.

The Regal Theater manager on duty Friday afternoon was a no forgetter
his appearance drab, a young lad, his name was Troy Hegstetler.

He came from his box into the lobby seeing only myself and a few other women at first —
thought he’d give us a hard time about our concerns. He was all smirk.

But then as the remainder of the theater showed up to back us in the thicket
Troy asked me, ‘What do you want?’ I said we’ll all take courtesy tickets.

I asked Troy what happened to the AC in theater 5?
He laughed, shrugged and gave me “the business jive.”

I then called my Mom in Texas to inform her
and she said something similar happen to her

when she and her girlfriends went to see it.
They brought blankets for the cold AC, but never reaped it.

She thought that was strange but thought it was just a fluke,
and “Who cared anyway,” Mom said, “GIRLS TRIP is a hoot!”

girls-trip2.jpg

Woooo! I absolutely do agree.
But she’d have got a pair of replacement tickets had she come with me. lol! 🙂

Ooo wee, kinfolk. It was a good weekend and good morning to you again,
I’m Qui
sippin’ on this jo and it’s still raining yo — at this beautiful days begin.

Remember

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Networking, News on June 16, 2017 at 4:30 am

dont-forget-to-be-awesomeGood morning sweetheart. It’s good to see that you’re up
today we’re just gonna touch on Taking it up the butt.

Today we’re going to take another look at what’s good for the mass,
and remind ourselves that What’s been Missing? The Gas.

Where are the comics? Where is the laughter?
Surely that’s what we’re really all after.

Just a little.
We could use the laughter distraction at our middle.

its-the-weekend-babyAs of late, anxiety is up and drive-thru food is being bought.
Stressful expressions are on the rise and little relief is sought,

so…. let’s not forget, despite what fails life is Pretty Good.
Especially when you’re not living in a prison yard hood.

Especially if you’re not testifying before the Senate
like Comey, Coats and Rogers. They were “in it.”

If those aren’t your issues, then you’re free to walk
unless, Tao, Towel and Chakra’s are on your mind for talk.

If so, Ah-ha! You have my full attentions
as long as Sex Comes Up and is in the mentions.

Remember? Life is at hand so don’t forget the fun,
and when you catch up with your love, ‘go on and get you some.

Friday has arrived and I’m high on life, like those rockies in Denver,
I’m Qui
Grateful to wake up to thee. Life is good, take a minute to Remember.

What’s Been Missing? The GAS.

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Networking, Self Improvement, TV Shows, Video on June 7, 2017 at 5:10 am

no-passing-gas.jpgI’m not a big bean fan, but I like to a eat a few
And you know about the musicals – what they make you do.
Toot-Toot!
They go in and run-through.

But that’s not The GAS that I’m Missing today,
I’m missing the gas of comedy. Where have the goods gone away?

I’m tired of laughing at our country. We’re the butted laugh dump 
of international jokes. The world jester is our card-of -trump.

Hardy-ho-hump! That man is not funny to me in any way.
I used to dig being first in the world. Folks loved the USA.

I know things will get better and I pray we won’t go for broke,
Though in the meantime I’m gonna insert a few more jokes

Because folks really and truly need it.
You reap what you sew?
So you know I gotta seed it.
I cut and pasted quite these, so you could read it:

Kevin Hart said
kevin-hart-2017.jpgConsidering a night of EXTACY benefits?
“You know what, I need to get my lady back. This is what I do. ‘Babe, I got an idea to get the spark back in our relationship. We should both take ecstasy one time….It’s going to make us talk, we’re going to have sex, it’s going to be the best.’ She said fine. She takes the pill. Her pill gives her all the right reactions. I take the pill. My pill made me believe that I was a drug dealer….We were talking, she was like, ‘Babe, I just want to be happy. I just want the disrespect to stop.’ ‘Let me tell you something, you’re worried about disrespect? What you need to worry about is how I’m going to deliver this kilo of cocaine to (expletive) Pablo….Where do you think I get all this money from? Jokes?…You think I’m out here making funny money? (Expletive), I’m in the game, I’m out here in the (expletive) streets.'”

It happened so quick… he forgot
“It’s my mom’s funeral. I’m on the right side, I’ve got the casket….I’m crying, I’m a mess….My dad see me crying, my dad stood up, punched me in the back of the head. ‘Man up. She gone.’ I forgot where I was, I threw the casket.”

Bedroom consensual violence & silence
“Here’s the thing with talking dirty. I can say dirty (expletive), I just don’t like it when you say stuff back, ’cause when you say stuff back, then I’ve got to say something back to what you said. It’s too much. Shut up….’Yeah, you like this (expletive), don’t you?’ ‘Oh, what do I like about it?’ ‘I don’t know. I didn’t expect you to say what you said when you said it. I thought you were going to let me keep going ’cause I got some other stuff I wanted to say.'”

I remember watching DEF COMEDY JAM when Hamburger said…

I like the freedom of bedroom talk by the comics.
So let’s agree besides the laughter, the provocativeness is missed.

cedric-the-entertainer-2017.jpgBut I am not done pumping gas, I want to talk about a few more that make us laugh, like Cedric The Entertainer. He’s got a side-splitting NETFLIX show going on. You can laugh-out-loud at the trailer HERE – Cedric is going strong. Cracking on family is fair game, not wrong.

We’re not laughing enough good people! Thus I’m doing my best. I got up this morning giggling and yawning out here in the Southwest. I’d love to be a fly at Chris Rocks desk. He’s a crack ‘em up character too. I went on the hunt to see what the funny sir is doing at 52 and found THIS review.

chris-rock-52yrs-old.jpgHe’s a natural comedian, I think his style is best
and while ‘Whole Foods isn’t a racist store – the $7 oranges say: YES!’

Click the link and read Chris’ work in context and then laugh until you pass gas.

You deserve it.
Be silent so that no one heard it.
Or laugh much louder
if you choose to thunder shower.

GAS. It’s up to you.

Today is hump day and I’m humping “the laugh.”
I’m a little full of air, but won’t be passing gas.
I will however give yesterdays laugh a little more dap
As I close this out with the legendary Bernie Mac…

I ain’t scared of them mothers either, I stare ‘em down and laugh,
I’m Qui
Happy Hump Day baby, What’s Been Missing is The GAS.

Pump some of this and look for more at a comedy house near you.
Life is too short to survive on food, water and the news.

LAUGH,
YOU

An End and a Begin

In Comedy, Communication, Music, Networking, News, Self Improvement, Video on May 19, 2017 at 4:03 am

weekend-party.jpgYesterday came and yesterday went
and all the while my time was spent

running the streets going to and fro
to finalize the affairs of a man named Joe.

Joe is MY DAD, some folks called him Redd,
it’s because he had freckles and flaming hair on his head.

Had he lived to see June 27th, he would have been 70.
Today we’ll memorialize a man that meant the world to me…

Much happier will be I after this huge moment of closure indeed.
After the veteran send off, we’ll congregate among ourselves and delve in the feed.

Comfort food.

We’ll laugh and talk, give dap and hugs.
We’ll likely run through many familial stories of love.

And then it’s on to healing and living well. I’m just a few years past 40.
Life is at hand, enjoy the lay of the land; and always remember to party.

Feeling stuccato? Drop some E40:

After the party, ol’ Saturday morning will roll in sweet
and I’ll brave a smile before the floor shall meet my feet

Because I’m alive, I have the activity of my limbs and all is well.
God bless the family of the late Roger Ailes.

The FOX NEWS giant was doing fine just in the Summer of last year
when a forced resignation is all that the Murdock sons would hear.

Not to rehash old news but he was let go,
post allegations of sexual harassment when female employees said ‘NO.’

My, oh, satellite news has been popping beyond Pennsylvania Av
— none of which is okay, or poised to make us laugh.

So on a lighter note
for you, I have a joke:

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look malex-baldwin-pillow-cover-laugh.gifate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years”.

Anytime is a good time to start something new & productive in life,
I’m Qui
The day is yours, take the opportunity to soar and smile while you’re covering the miles.

Hindsight will prove it all worthwhile.

.end-and-begin-life.jpg

Let’s Talk

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Networking, News, Politics, Science on April 23, 2017 at 3:50 pm

talk.gifThe weekend has been nigh and the hours have been great
for the most part, I’ve maintained a smile on my face.

Life is a race but I don’t think it’s about being swift,
more than about what you do, what you’re into and who you do it with.

You know?
Today Let’s Talk and exchange the blunt info.

Like, what’s going on in your life? Are you making positive strides?
Is your health, diet and fitness, shaking out to be alright?

Do you have a plight that you would love to voice?
Never settle for anything – you deserve a choice.

Especially within intelligent legislation as it pertains to health care… just an off the cuff mention.
I’m not down with the “repeal and replace,” as much as I’d like to talk about a SINGLE PAYER system.

Our health is in need of care and is nothing at which to squawk,
So yeah, today I’m feeling intimate, give me a minute and Let’s Talk.

Today I was up early, but much too early to rise,
I waited for the sun to break through the clear AZ skies.

Once it broke, I pulled it together and hit the road
a day of leisure will be my unfold.

I have writes to create and film editing — what a fun day.
The remainder of my desks chambers will have to wait until Monday.

Right now, I’m more interested in you, the weather and the GOOD that you’re farming.
I also wanted to know what are your thoughts on Global Warming?

I want to make sure that you’re still focused on tomorrow and constructively making lays.
I want to make sure you secure your future — stack chips for tomorrow (plan not to borrow) today.

These are notes that I have for myself on sticky notes and always on mind.
Let’s Talk, compare notes, look at our interests and plan our votes —
I’m curious to learn your finds.

When I decided to chat it up today I was duly thinking of Joan Rivers’ historical indention,
She used to do a CAN WE TALK routine that surely helped me to title THIS rendition.

can-we-talk-joan-rivers.jpg

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Let’s Talk about being bold, being fierce, being raw…
Let’s Talk about congress, bills and laws.

What do WE really want, y’all?
Our country is looking funky to the rest of the world, y’all.

We could talk about how we got here and how we can reverse what we’ve put into action.
I think it’s time we take these discussions seriously. Child, serious talk is in fashion.

Clothe yourself with knowledge and learn what the heck is going on.
The PROTESTS in the streets are thoughtfully planned to go long.

Wasington-Post-Earth-Day-2010-Mall-Shot-1024x579.jpg

Washington Post – Earth Day 2017

Let’s Talk about your interests and where you stand on the EPA.
Let’s Talk about how bills have been signed to roll EARTH HELP protections away.

A few days ago was EARTH DAY and so many held signs, shoulder to shoulder in the streets
Across the world, there was man, woman, boy and girl, bearing weather – be it cold or heat

To make a point:
420 weekend was less about smoking a joint

and more about coming together across the worlds lands and seas
to say Earth deserves to be loved. A demand shown by WE.

Let’s Talk about what we mean more often, we deserve to be heard,
I’m Qui
Open to hearing your point of view. Communication rules the nation. WORD.

So what’s on your mind?
lets-talk-about-it.jpg

Aw man! Brilliant LAUGHTER has left the land

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Movies, Networking on April 12, 2017 at 11:01 am

My GOTO BUDDY whenever I felt ‘laugh thirsty”
Has crossed over today: RIP Charlie Murphy.

I’m truly sad for the family, myself and the population masses
Who won’t have another Charlie joke to lift us up off of our mundane asses.

The humorous mic: he passes it to those that will come behind him
Who’ll posses the light to laugh at life and flip a smile at obvious grim.

Gosh I’m gonna miss him. For Charlie Murphy
I’ve always had MAD LOVE,
I’m Qui
Chopping it up with thee, ’cause I’m in the mood for a group )))HUG(((.

Laugh Lines

In Comedy, Communication, Networking, News, Qui Audio Byte on March 31, 2017 at 2:52 pm

Life can be serious and often, not so kind,
so when I can, I gracefully yield to making new Laugh Lines:

Two elderly women were out for a Sunday drive in a large car and both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light”. After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through, and she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!” Mildred turned to her and said “Oh, am I driving?”

mickey_laughing-j95

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Flying like Harrison Ford
harrison-fordAn airplane pilot had had a particularly difficult flight and a rough landing. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a “Thanks for riding Royal Airlines.” But, in light of his bad landing, the pilot had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no, Ma’am,” replied the pilot,” “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?” 🙂
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Never mind satellite news today – tomorrow it will ramp up more.
For now, dowse out “suspicion” with this next J/K score:

no-firesA lady was complaining to her husband about remodeling her kitchen. “You have been telling me you were going to get me new cabinets for ten years!” said the wife. “They are a luxury and the ones we have are fine.” the husband replied. The next day the wife goes to visit her mother for two weeks. When she returns she is overjoyed to see a brand new kitchen waiting for her. She was so thrilled that every night when the husband got home she would have his favorite meal on the table and after dinner she would rub his feet as he read the paper in the recliner. A couple of weeks later a neighbor came by for a visit. After admiring the new cabinets she says, “All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the Kitchen.”

The last joke has so many “issues with it,” that I don’t know where to begin…crazy-smileyface
Let’s just say I’m glad the husband scored and no other square footage was singed.

.

Aw. It’s okay to laugh every now and again… actually, as much as you can, Boo.
I’m Qui
Hello to thee:
laughter-pill