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Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

WHAT ABOUT SEX?

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Movies, Self Improvement on April 11, 2022 at 3:15 am

Unsplash_Sex_alexander-krivitskiy-DRGoIVj40Us-unsplashPhoto by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

What about Monday , what about the baby, and alas what about sex?
What about a natural way at the end of the day to indulge in & de-vex?

When was the last time you made out or ‘necked’? Well, that’s too long.
Cardio burning is what you’re yearning. May your stamina be strong.

Our country’s economic state, should not weigh heavy past the mind.
Let not the state of the economy snatch the sex out of your daily grind.

I know this is an issue. I saw an insightful news segment on the news the other today
that said people all over the country are saying “their libido has gone away.”

The news doesn’t know squat and I hope great sex will always keep a’ calling —
long past the phase of mass stuntin’ & big face balling.

I hope.
For good sex (to me) is like the best dope.

Popularity is a short and rather limp subject.
Let your sex life be hot. Embrace it and love it.

What about Bob, what about the baby and alas: What about you?
I’m Qui
Not waiting to create another reason to play Stella and bust a groove.
Ooo!

QuiWho

On The Good Foot

In #SeveralLayersDeep, Comedy, Communication, Griot, Music, Self Improvement, Video on March 30, 2022 at 8:24 am
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

This morning I woke up smiling. Good morning to you.
Care you for coffee, tea, a joke or two?

With towel draped on forearm, I’m ready to pour.
Is that 2 lumps of sugar for the jo and of jokes, you’d like four?

Today’s menu is composed to calm the inner noise
and believe it or not – it is spired by ye ol’ 5th WARD BOYS.

In specific the track referring to Women, MMJ, and Alcohol.
The 5th WB quotes, “satisfies us all.”

What do they mean?
While you discern, I’ve got jokes for your seam.

Before I get started if I didn’t WARN you I’d be wrong
If you’re under 18 or have conservative seams, this is not your song.
These jokes are for the light-hearted on a HUMP DAY; the laid-back, the grown.
Without further adieu, let’s get-it-on:

Dirty, but organic. | Photo by Gabriel Jimenez on Unsplash

Q. Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

That’s when Jim turned to Mary and said, “I’ll admit it. I know that I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives over forty miles away.” #CrazyDrive :/

Mary responds, “You know I read somewhere that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?”

#GoLONGER #YouCanDoIt 😛

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I’m grooming. Do you know what that means?” The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.”

Q. How do you make a pool table laugh?
A. Tickle its balls.

I’ve got several more jokes – how much time do you have to read? –Before you go take a toke of some organic seed:

Photo by Jeff W on Unsplash

Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.

Q: What do you call a stoners wife?
A: Mississippi. (Mrs. Hippy)

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high.

STONER’S DEEP THOUGHT OF THE DAY: If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.
True.

Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers?
A: Malnutrition. 

Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet?
A: A joint in each hand!

This next joke is a story and calls into question the fate
of a pot head, a sex addict and alcoholic at the Pearly Gates:

At this point you probably want to stop by the church. True?
So, the next installment is certainly gossip for the pew:

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. (cue the music “dun-dun-dunnn“).

It’s HUMP DAY alas, and the weekend is near the brink.
I’m off today so let’s happy hour @ noon. I’m buying drinks:

Photo by Jordan Nix on Unsplash

BOB: Hi, my name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic.
CUST.SVC. REP:“Sir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous.”
BOB:“I know, I’m just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.”

If alcohol can damage your short term memory…Imagine the damage alcohol can do. —Signed Recovering Alcoholic (in progress).

Eminem is working as a bartender when he notices his alcoholic friend walk in.
He orders a drink, so Eminem reluctantly pours him one.
When he’s done, he asks Eminem for another serving.
Eminem slams his hands on the bar and tells him, “You only get ONE SHOT.”

EOE is extremely important on day one.
lest all of your secrets be undone.

In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him. They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, ”It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.” “That’s correct”, said the boss. Another glass. ”It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels.” “Correct. ”The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who’s the father!” The boss collapsed!!

###

Now, don’t you go getting all saucy on me, if you are at work at this hour.
The MOS: Covet not your neighbors spouse or your reputation could sour.

It’s an old wives tale
backed by “time will tell and ass-holes will smell.”

Good morning, again, may your day not reflect thirst,
I’m Qui
Thanks for kicking it with me
. Now, discreetly share these jokes at work.

Oh? You didn’t get the 5th Ward Boys reference at all?
Well, peep the video for more clarity and jam it out, y’all.

“P., W., and Alcohol”

About the joke material, 😛 I got REFERENCES:

 MMJ: jokes: http://www.jokes4us.com

Dirty jokes: https://bestlifeonline.com

Alcohol jokes: https://upjoke.com

Recap and Dap

In Comedy, Communication, education, Griot, Networking, News, Self Improvement, TV Shows on March 28, 2022 at 11:13 am
Giphy

I know… I know. I just wanted to wait —
as long as possible before addressing that #SlapInTheFace.

Yes? Is that why you are here? You want to know my thoughts?
Well, listen up dear, “anyone can get caught.”

The Real Housewives Of franchise would like to know alas,
if Will Smith is interested in teaching a Master Class

on HOW TO thwart folks from hurting those whom you love?
Sometimes it just warrants a word — or a slap to be heard
and other times it warrants a hug.

Last night at the Academy whilst Chris Rock was divvying out jokes —
He cracked a meant-2B-funny on Jada, honey…
Had he a “glass jaw,” it would’ve been broke.

Will walked up with an open-paw-smoke and smacked-the-joke-out of Rock.
The audience would have laughed, but the audience was shocked.

This morning’s news commentators could not seem to get enough of…
Jada wasn’t going for “JANE,” she has Alopecia.

Alopecia is an illness to which most suffers pain in mane care;
Alopecia is a disease that takes the sufferers hair.

It’s that simple.
Will defended his wife in the face of a joke-dimple.

Jokes are cute in broad day light.
They’re not so cute when the joked-upon-subject, isn’t alright.

Last night’s cinematography plight did turn
the camera to Jada and Jada looked hurt.

What do you do then?
Should her husband have ‘told her to lighten up and held her hand?

I don’t think so.
My heart also goes out to Chris Rock, for it’s clear that “he did not know

that Jada had Alopecia.
If all is fair in love and jokes, last night was beast-rough.

But we all made it through,
and Will had to do what Will had to do.

I pray that he and his brother Chris are able to overcome,
what was done in all-seriousness
during a moment of fun.

I pray their love is not lost and when they return to the public square that we will all see,
respect is big in our community and that we often act-out with no discern or doubt what our hearts mean.

I should know. Who hasn’t reacted in emotion a time or two, or ‘fo?
I’m Qui
Let’s dap it up on “we,” and show misunderstandings the front ‘do.

Tenor

Love is big and surpasses tall.
Now let this be a lesson to us all.