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Posts Tagged ‘Bernie Mac’

What’s Been Missing? The GAS.

In Comedy, Communication, Griot, Networking, Self Improvement, TV Shows, Video on June 7, 2017 at 5:10 am

no-passing-gas.jpgI’m not a big bean fan, but I like to a eat a few
And you know about the musicals – what they make you do.
Toot-Toot!
They go in and run-through.

But that’s not The GAS that I’m Missing today,
I’m missing the gas of comedy. Where have the goods gone away?

I’m tired of laughing at our country. We’re the butted laugh dump 
of international jokes. The world jester is our card-of -trump.

Hardy-ho-hump! That man is not funny to me in any way.
I used to dig being first in the world. Folks loved the USA.

I know things will get better and I pray we won’t go for broke,
Though in the meantime I’m gonna insert a few more jokes

Because folks really and truly need it.
You reap what you sew?
So you know I gotta seed it.
I cut and pasted quite these, so you could read it:

Kevin Hart said
kevin-hart-2017.jpgConsidering a night of EXTACY benefits?
“You know what, I need to get my lady back. This is what I do. ‘Babe, I got an idea to get the spark back in our relationship. We should both take ecstasy one time….It’s going to make us talk, we’re going to have sex, it’s going to be the best.’ She said fine. She takes the pill. Her pill gives her all the right reactions. I take the pill. My pill made me believe that I was a drug dealer….We were talking, she was like, ‘Babe, I just want to be happy. I just want the disrespect to stop.’ ‘Let me tell you something, you’re worried about disrespect? What you need to worry about is how I’m going to deliver this kilo of cocaine to (expletive) Pablo….Where do you think I get all this money from? Jokes?…You think I’m out here making funny money? (Expletive), I’m in the game, I’m out here in the (expletive) streets.'”

It happened so quick… he forgot
“It’s my mom’s funeral. I’m on the right side, I’ve got the casket….I’m crying, I’m a mess….My dad see me crying, my dad stood up, punched me in the back of the head. ‘Man up. She gone.’ I forgot where I was, I threw the casket.”

Bedroom consensual violence & silence
“Here’s the thing with talking dirty. I can say dirty (expletive), I just don’t like it when you say stuff back, ’cause when you say stuff back, then I’ve got to say something back to what you said. It’s too much. Shut up….’Yeah, you like this (expletive), don’t you?’ ‘Oh, what do I like about it?’ ‘I don’t know. I didn’t expect you to say what you said when you said it. I thought you were going to let me keep going ’cause I got some other stuff I wanted to say.'”

I remember watching DEF COMEDY JAM when Hamburger said…

I like the freedom of bedroom talk by the comics.
So let’s agree besides the laughter, the provocativeness is missed.

cedric-the-entertainer-2017.jpgBut I am not done pumping gas, I want to talk about a few more that make us laugh, like Cedric The Entertainer. He’s got a side-splitting NETFLIX show going on. You can laugh-out-loud at the trailer HERE – Cedric is going strong. Cracking on family is fair game, not wrong.

We’re not laughing enough good people! Thus I’m doing my best. I got up this morning giggling and yawning out here in the Southwest. I’d love to be a fly at Chris Rocks desk. He’s a crack ‘em up character too. I went on the hunt to see what the funny sir is doing at 52 and found THIS review.

chris-rock-52yrs-old.jpgHe’s a natural comedian, I think his style is best
and while ‘Whole Foods isn’t a racist store – the $7 oranges say: YES!’

Click the link and read Chris’ work in context and then laugh until you pass gas.

You deserve it.
Be silent so that no one heard it.
Or laugh much louder
if you choose to thunder shower.

GAS. It’s up to you.

Today is hump day and I’m humping “the laugh.”
I’m a little full of air, but won’t be passing gas.
I will however give yesterdays laugh a little more dap
As I close this out with the legendary Bernie Mac…

I ain’t scared of them mothers either, I stare ‘em down and laugh,
I’m Qui
Happy Hump Day baby, What’s Been Missing is The GAS.

Pump some of this and look for more at a comedy house near you.
Life is too short to survive on food, water and the news.

LAUGH,
YOU

Ooo Wee, Lifey.

In Communication, Griot, Music, Self Improvement, Video on June 4, 2017 at 8:25 am

Here’s an appropriate metaphoric quote from the jamming Kendrick Lamar:

“All my life I want money and power
Respect my mind or die from lead shower
I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower
So I can fuck the world for seventy two hours”

YES! I love a ripped mind that rips lines of depth.
Kendrick Lamar is speaking well and it’s yielding me wet.

Ooo Wee! Good morning Lifey! You ain’t left me and I’m glad.
The fun we’ve been at, outcurves the bat and I’m having a blast.

I love your ass. Ooo Wee.
I thank God for your totality.
I am well and quite happy with thee.
We’re in this together; me and my Lifey.

If we weren’t already fused as one, I’d court ya, even more.
The world is packed with partakers; a cluster of pimps and whores.

Pimp is metaphor for game pushers and the whores are those who’ll sell all to get it.
Reality shows, fad muses, commercials and satellite news’age – are viable ways to hit it.

Then there are those of us who prefer a more affective game
So we gravitate towards elevation; the intellectual lane.

Most of us write, some of us speak
All in an effort to positive tweak

bernie-mac-wait-a-minuteMe? Ooo wee, Lifey,
I may as well be Bernie Mac’s wifey.

I’m sweet as all get out and I do mean well,
Though I’m quick to shoot unnecessary b.s. to  hell

As I look up, lift up and elevate out.
Life is too short to not express or to pout.

I’m Learning.

Don’t catch gout in your energetic flow.
Tao is teaching me that. It’s ours to know.

Ooo wee, Lifey, I am really feeling you today.
I’m Qui
Kinfolk: Good morning to thee. Don’t forget your affirmations – Don’t forget to pray.

“Think higher,
Feel Deeper.”
Elie Wiesel

Guess who’s coming to dinner

In Communication, Griot, Movies, Networking, News, Self Improvement on December 13, 2011 at 8:29 am

Photo Flipbook Slideshow Maker

Suddenly I feel like ol’ Spencer Tracy and Uncle Bernie Mac
because my child has brought home a suiter – my child is black.

Though that’s not the problem, for I am black too.
But our daughter didn’t bring home some big burly dude,
dressed in wife beater who treats her rude.
Conversational chauvinist – whose ethics are crude.

She brought home a girl, (latina & cute),
and so the big hearted me, has welcomed her too.
Ooo!

They are officially a couple. Oh yes – a femme deux.
How should my face look? What should I do?

As Christmas approaches I’m glad to have guests.
I left my daughter in the South — she found me in the West.

Recently I moved from Texas to Arizona – for gained good;
my daughter then lived in a popular Houston, TX hood.
She located me promptly — as family is understood.
I’m on my best mommy behavior — as only I would.

So I birthed two girls and the eldest has brought us one more.
Now the dinner table will have 4 women amidst the dining score.

Will it be awkward? The Christmas dine will tell us more.
So far it’s been quite refreshing and anything but a bore.

So today they’ll awake to score some employment.
Because having no cash – yields little enjoyment.

My daughter is 20 and her suitor is 21.
They’re into socializing and having plenty of fun.

At 20 I was seriously committed and had a kid.
At 20: Whatever I wanted to do is what I did,
however, I had a job too…
Which is something we must find for these two…
Ooo!

While every parent wants to know their kids are okay and safe,
I think I’m even antsy’er to help them get their own place. lol!
Because Momma can love you – without you being in her face. Hey-ey!
So we’re looking for two jobs – moving at a sprinters pace.

They look a lot like Ellen Degeneres and her wife;
My daughter chose the provider role for her life.

Unfortunately my daughter doesn’t make money like Ellen does,
so they’ve both got to find work – or life will be rough.

This is what I’m telling them – via my dearest motherly love.
Through it all (the more the merrier) I give lots of group hugs.

So I’m seeking to lay two extra place settings at the table in just 12 days,
I’m Qui
Conducting myself like Shakespeare said: “All the world’s a stage”…
Good morning Spencer Tracy! I am duly ready to play!

Laughing at the Dinner Table

In Movies on May 15, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Especially when spectating the dining ettiquetts at Bernie Mac’s table. Remember Ashton Kutcher and “the black jokes” in “Guess Who”? I’m laughing tonight:

Everytime I turn around, something with Bernie Mac in it – is on.
It’s almost as if the brother has never even moved on.
His presence is strong – and he keeps me laughing.
When I see his films on the tube — I forfiet passing.

I even find myself going back for seconds – [Rewinding laughs],
I’m Qui
& Comedic bluntness like Bernie’s is far too historically good to pass.

Go ‘head and laugh::