Posts Tagged ‘#Boss’

What the L

In Comedy, Communication, Networking, Politics, Self Improvement on May 7, 2015 at 1:05 pm

Great Dictator-cartoon
Good afternoon good people, take a hit and pass
I’m not on a mission about dissin’ – I’m all about the laugh.

Reality is running rampart, may comedy dispel,
and this little segment is something I like to call:

What The L!!

Don’t just be incredible, be a #Boss.

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?”

The assistant says, ”$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”

”What about the green one?” the man asks.

The assistant says, ”He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”

”What about the red one?” the man asks.

The assistant says, ”That one’s $10,000.”

The man says, ”What does HE do?”

The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”

#Hillary ain’t no chicken but…

What do you get when you order a ‘Hillary Clinton’ at KFC?
Answer: Two breasts and a left wing.

Keep it #Professional.

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month’s Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?
Secretary: My lawyer.


#QuickThinking is mandatory when a situation is sinking – especially when your odds are stinking…

To surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, “And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”

Thinking of getting a new #Car, keep in mind,
Children in the backseat can cause accidents.
Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

Resist the devil and he will flee, or just #Erase your first thought…
A gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane. He sees the priest doing a crossword puzzle.
Time passes and the priest says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four letter word that describes a woman and ends in ‘u-n-t’?”
The gentleman thinks about this and finally says, “I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘aunt.'”
The priest replies, “Oh, you’re right. That fits, too. Would you happen to have an eraser?”
Ooops! I saw you smirking. Go on and laugh a little bit.
Don’t let the mundane win or amount to about nit!

Smile broadly – like you’re slick and peak a little peer curiosity,
I’m Qui
Laughing with you via la comical veracity.

What the L?
Everybody needs to stop and laugh for a spell.

[Jokes compliments of]