Posts Tagged ‘engage in afterplay’

40 Tips Deficient — Try 11.

In Communication, Griot, Networking, Self Improvement on November 4, 2015 at 11:40 am


No awkward props or Cirque du Soleil-style contortions—just pleasure

No awkward props or Cirque du Soleil-style contortions—just pleasure

You know ‘I be in the checkout line reading magazines,’ – I’m hooked and that’s why you guys keep getting this “love stuff” from me as of late. Charge it to the checkout line and not to me. 😀

Anywho, I know I’ve already posted a few,
but I’ve found even more boudoir ideas-to-do.

I was going to wait until next week to post these but it’s HUMP DAY and well, it just feels right. Prevention Magazine yields us this piece – they are the author. I am the enjoy’er. Wont you partake?


When you’re in a long-term relationship, a hot night with your partner is probably made up of moves pulled from a go-to list of yeses and, if you’re lucky, oh yeses. Why risk messing up the mood with potentially awkward antics? Because there’s such a thing as feeling too comfortable. “Shaking things up a bit can add excitement and spontaneity,” warns Ellen Barnard, a sex educator and owner of A Woman’s Touch, a Madison, Wisconsin–based sexuality and education center. The key words there: “a bit.” Experts agree that you don’t need to try (or buy) anything extreme to achieve a big boost in novelty and pleasure. Test one or more of these moves out tonight and see for yourself.

Engage in afterplay
Done with the main event? Now’s the perfect time to return to some foreplay favorites, says sex educator Emily Nagoski. “Because you’re already aroused, you may find that certain moves can feel extra-intense,” she explains. Not only that, but if you’ve always been curious but shy to try something new, like, say a type of toy, after intercourse can be a great time to engage because when you’re already aroused, and may be less inhibited. Plus, there’s no pressure on the trick to actually work. You’re just having fun for fun’s sake.

Open the windows—but close the curtains
The feel of the breeze on your bare skin and the ever-so-slight possibility that the neighbors might hear your moans can be incredibly arousing, says Harlan Cohen, author of Getting Naked. Or, if you’re feeling even more daring, instigate a makeout session in your backyard as it gets dark. Even though it’s remote, the fear you could get caught produces an adrenaline rush that adds a layer of excitement and urgency to the encounter. (Learn to love lights-on sex with these confidence-boosting tips.)

Scratch his head
The scalp contains tons of nerve endings—that’s why that mini-scalp massage at the salon always feels so good. Even though the touch is G-rated, the skin-on-skin contact can trigger a flow of bonding hormones like oxytocin that can make you both feel more connected, explains Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. And because the act isn’t automatically linked to sex, it can pave the way for a long evening of back-and-forth foreplay before the main event, which often gets lost in long-term relationships. (Just don’t forget you—here’s how to give yourself an awesome scalp massage.)

Corrupt the couch
Don’t make excuses about the upholstery, because your clothes are going to stay on. Start with making out high-school style and then amp up the action by moving so you’re facing him and sitting on his knee. Here, you can rock back and forth while you’re kissing, which provides direct stimulation to your clitoris and can be supremely pleasurable, says Emily Morse, a sex expert and host of the podcast Sex With Emily.

Start a slow burn
Like “road trip,” “sexting” sounds simultaneously dangerous and juvenile, but can actually be a lot of fun if you know how. The trick is to leave out words that would make you blush and stick to inside joke type info that would seem innocent to anyone else, suggests Barnard. Something like “FYI, I’m wearing that red dress you like”with a smiley face can convey just as much as a picture of your underwear—and starts priming both of your brains for what will happen when you finally get together.

Raid the freezer
Experts agree that plain old ice cubes can make any encounter extremely hot. Not only does the chill of the ice stimulate the same part of the nervous system that’s responsible for arousal, but the sensation jolts your brain away from the grocery list and into the here-and-now. Try running one along his hips and up his thighs, or ask him to do the same to you, suggests Barnard. And don’t be discouraged if one or both of you start to laugh—encourage it! Sex should be fun, so give into the giggles and play around until you find what feels good. (Eat your way to better sex with these foods.)

Narrate the action
Simply say what’s happening in the moment, with sentences like, “You’re running your hand up my thigh and it feels so good.”Even though the words seem innocent enough, they serve the same purpose as dirty talk—letting your partner know what’s turning you on, what you’d like more of, and how his actions result in your pleasure, explains Ruthie Neustifter, a sexuality educator and author of The Nice Girl’s Guide to Talking Dirty. Not only that, but explaining what sensations you’re experiencing can stop your mind from wandering and keep it focused on the action. “By connecting the action to how you feel, you’re increasing awareness of what feels good, so you can ask for more of it,” says Neustifter.

Lube up
Women who used a water- or silicone-based lubricant rated sexual pleasure and satisfaction higher than when they had intercourse without a lubricant, according to a recent Indiana University study of nearly 2,500 women. To avoid interrupting the action, have lube on the bedside table or in a convenient drawer. Then, either sensuously put it on yourself or have him put it on you during foreplay, suggests Barnard.

Re-Do your finest moments
Fantasy sharing sounds great in theory, but in practice it can be complicated—does your husband really know what you and George Clooney would do together if you were both stranded on a desert island? (And do you really want to hear what he’d do with Christina Hendricks?) Instead, try fantasies that star each other, recommends Cohen. Not into that? Start by giving the play-by-play of some of the exceptionally hot moments you’ve had over the years. You’ve had them before, so who says you can’t have them again? (Keep it up with these 3 little tips to fall back in love.)

Try a new move
Kama Sutra–inspired coupling may seem exciting, but if you’re looking for orgasmic, the deceptively simple Coital Alignment Technique (also known as CAT) may be all you need. In the past two decades, studies have found that this technique consistently leads to climax, even for women who have reported difficulty achieving orgasm from penetration in the past, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, research scientist at Indiana University and author of Sex Made Easy. To do it: Start in missionary, but have your guy move downward during the thrust as you move upward. The point is to achieve maximum clitoral stimulation, so you might have to experiment a bit until the position of his penis gives you the most pleasure. (For more ideas, give these 11 new sex positions a whirl.)

Take a break
Vacations may only come once or twice a year, but you can have hot vacation-style sex any day. “When you’re on vacation, your focus is primarily on pleasure. To have a similar benefit, you need to get into a similar mindset at home,” says Cohen. One way to do that is to get rid of as many distractions as possible. For some couples, that’s renting a hotel room in town for an evening. For others, it’s simply spending the night (or a Saturday morning while kids are at soccer practice) in the guest room. Not seeing evidence of your everyday lives can make it easier to totally let loose.


Just in case you missed the last two posts of 40 tips
I thought I’d put this ‘texture‘ on your lips.

Think of it as a mid-week gift.
A reason to go home and flex your hips.

Why not, you need the calorie burn anyway.
I’m 40 and my metabolism needs the assistive play.

Hey! Any reason is a good reason and mine reason is: YOU NEEDED TO KNOW.
I’m Qui
and I’m happy to share with thee – besides I appreciate the new ideas to sew.

Now GO.