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Posts Tagged ‘grown folks stuff’

On The Good Foot

In #SeveralLayersDeep, Comedy, Communication, Griot, Music, Self Improvement, Video on March 30, 2022 at 8:24 am
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

This morning I woke up smiling. Good morning to you.
Care you for coffee, tea, a joke or two?

With towel draped on forearm, I’m ready to pour.
Is that 2 lumps of sugar for the jo and of jokes, you’d like four?

Today’s menu is composed to calm the inner noise
and believe it or not – it is spired by ye ol’ 5th WARD BOYS.

In specific the track referring to Women, MMJ, and Alcohol.
The 5th WB quotes, “satisfies us all.”

What do they mean?
While you discern, I’ve got jokes for your seam.

Before I get started if I didn’t WARN you I’d be wrong
If you’re under 18 or have conservative seams, this is not your song.
These jokes are for the light-hearted on a HUMP DAY; the laid-back, the grown.
Without further adieu, let’s get-it-on:

Dirty, but organic. | Photo by Gabriel Jimenez on Unsplash

Q. Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

That’s when Jim turned to Mary and said, “I’ll admit it. I know that I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives over forty miles away.” #CrazyDrive :/

Mary responds, “You know I read somewhere that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?”

#GoLONGER #YouCanDoIt 😛

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I’m grooming. Do you know what that means?” The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.”

Q. How do you make a pool table laugh?
A. Tickle its balls.

I’ve got several more jokes – how much time do you have to read? –Before you go take a toke of some organic seed:

Photo by Jeff W on Unsplash

Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.

Q: What do you call a stoners wife?
A: Mississippi. (Mrs. Hippy)

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high.

STONER’S DEEP THOUGHT OF THE DAY: If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.
True.

Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers?
A: Malnutrition. 

Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet?
A: A joint in each hand!

This next joke is a story and calls into question the fate
of a pot head, a sex addict and alcoholic at the Pearly Gates:

At this point you probably want to stop by the church. True?
So, the next installment is certainly gossip for the pew:

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. (cue the music “dun-dun-dunnn“).

It’s HUMP DAY alas, and the weekend is near the brink.
I’m off today so let’s happy hour @ noon. I’m buying drinks:

Photo by Jordan Nix on Unsplash

BOB: Hi, my name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic.
CUST.SVC. REP:“Sir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous.”
BOB:“I know, I’m just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.”

If alcohol can damage your short term memory…Imagine the damage alcohol can do. —Signed Recovering Alcoholic (in progress).

Eminem is working as a bartender when he notices his alcoholic friend walk in.
He orders a drink, so Eminem reluctantly pours him one.
When he’s done, he asks Eminem for another serving.
Eminem slams his hands on the bar and tells him, “You only get ONE SHOT.”

EOE is extremely important on day one.
lest all of your secrets be undone.

In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him. They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, ”It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.” “That’s correct”, said the boss. Another glass. ”It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels.” “Correct. ”The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who’s the father!” The boss collapsed!!

###

Now, don’t you go getting all saucy on me, if you are at work at this hour.
The MOS: Covet not your neighbors spouse or your reputation could sour.

It’s an old wives tale
backed by “time will tell and ass-holes will smell.”

Good morning, again, may your day not reflect thirst,
I’m Qui
Thanks for kicking it with me
. Now, discreetly share these jokes at work.

Oh? You didn’t get the 5th Ward Boys reference at all?
Well, peep the video for more clarity and jam it out, y’all.

“P., W., and Alcohol”

About the joke material, 😛 I got REFERENCES:

 MMJ: jokes: http://www.jokes4us.com

Dirty jokes: https://bestlifeonline.com

Alcohol jokes: https://upjoke.com

Good Mary Jane yields wisdom…

In Communication, Griot, Networking, Self Improvement, TV Shows on March 4, 2015 at 10:33 am

BMJ post itPartake in it babies. Gather around the fire.
I appreciate this DirecTV service that I’ve committed to hire.

I do a lot of work, and I relish in the play,
so did you see BEING MARY JANE yesterday?

My goodness it was good. My attentions were kept via the strong vibe
that paralleled my life today… I felt the need to transcribe.

But then I thought, “Hold on Qui! Hold on. What if these folks would rather see?
I’m sure they appreciate your unselfish’ed type – but may not have time to read.

So I digress and still proceed – I’ve got to share with you this show,
please click play and take a drag from the last broadcasted episode:

Being Mary Jane Season2 - Ep5

MJ pours a couple of drinks, listens to her voicemails and then Dr. Lisa comes over @ 16 minutes into:

MJ: Why are you hear Lisa?
DR: Don’t you know another emotion besides anger? I’m here because I’m concerned about my friend.
MJ: Obviously I don’t have time for this.
DR: Time might be what you need… maybe it’s a blessing. I see single women everyday and they think that they’re ready for a baby and they find out they are completely unprepared.
MJ: Who is ever prepared for a baby?
DR: I’m just saying that maybe right now your lifestyle isn’t conducive to having a child.
MJ: Conducive? What are you… What?
DR: Conducive – helpful, an alignment
MJ: I don’t need a definition Lisa. I want to know where you get off questioning my lifestyle?
DR: Calm down, I’m just saying that I’m concerned about some of your choices.
MJ: My choices. Oh you mean, like, because I don’t choose to be dateless or sexless or joyless — are those the choices that you’re concerned about?
DR: See, I was hoping that I’d be able to come over here without you thinking you had carte blanch to be as rude and as nasty as you want.
MJ: No, you couldn’t have been hoping that because you wouldn’t have come at me sideways. Really? My lifestyle?
DR: You work like a dog and if you were serious about having a baby you wouldn’t be running around like a hamster on a wheel.
MJ: How else am I supposed to afford a kid?
DR: I told you your stress levels were high. The last six months you haven’t made a single decision that suggests that you even want a baby let alone, should be allowed to have one.
MJ: Allowed? Wow. It’s like I just got stabbed and instead of getting a band aid, I just keep getting stabbed. Okay.
DR: It’s the middle of the day and you already have a drink. Even if it were good for your fertility, I don’t think a baby should be raised by someone who gets a drink as soon as the cock crows.
MJ: Speaking of cocks crowing – as many blow jobs as you have given you really want to talk to me about drinking some tequila? Oral sex is sex Dr. Hudson.
DR: I shared that with you as a part of my healing and you’re throwing it back in my face?
MJ: …I could maybe accept that, except I know the place where it comes from.

MJ: Wake up Lisa, he [David] didn’t want you.
DR: And now you know how that feels. [Dr. Lisa exits MJ’s abode]

Whoa. Another egg onto Mary Jane’s debate face.
shoe divider

Good morning good people and THIS is how I like to start my day.
There’s plenty of work on my desk, I love to mix in some good play.

My DVR is always full but me think it not to be a shame
especially when my day flies by working to BEING MARY JANE.

Dr. Lisa let her have it. I was on the edge of my seat.
It’s 54 degrees in Chandler, though televised are flames of heat.

My goodness, I like it a lot. That’s grown folk talk for sure.
If your work day is hum drum — a little MJ may be the cure.

I don’t know what to say about her wisdom, but I do like the little posted notes
that convey of a lot of relevance to real life and I quote:

“He who looks outside, dreams; He who looks inside, awakes.”
— Carl Gustav Jung

Pops weighed in a lot and wisdom was thick.
Again little Pauletta was “a recipient chick.”

If you missed #BMJ last night – good news, you can catch the episode if click this link,
I’m Qui
and Happy Hump Day baby, don’t expect a cut of too much, less you plan to sink.

Maneuver wisely today, have fun and think.

Erotically Speaking

In Communication, Griot, Self Improvement on August 15, 2014 at 9:28 am

2014 qui reps 2004_frame

I’ve been ‘doing it’ since I was 25 – it’s genius and sick,
I dress in lingerie and spit about LIFE and POLITICS.

The events always sell out, I’m for the people. I’m with you.
You’d be delighted to find, it’s a call to the mind, and many relate to what I do.
Ooo!

Today is a special day for me – there’ll be no politicin.’
Today is my birthday, and for the LIVE STAGE I’m itchin. ‘

I’m people and vibe digging … we’re all mature here.
I just want to spit a few bars for the par and hear the people cheer.

I want to know where your minds is? I want to know what you’re doing in life?
I want to know if you’re still grown enough to burn the oil, no toil, at midnight?

Are you still with me? Put the kids to bed.
I’ve got a word to share – it’s a call to the head.

Put your thinking caps on and call them Jimmy, if you want to.
I just want to know there’s still a clear channel between me and you.
Us two… we used to…
Ooo! What we’d do…

decorative-line-divider1

Do you remember Qui Entertainment in 2004?
When eroticism was kicking down the door
and my finger tips, lips and hips,
those Freudian slips… If I was liquor I’d be a strong sip.

Yes sir.
Do stir
and sit a while.
Ooo child.
This grown folks stuff is so very, very mild.

My literary wilds.
Give them a punned thought and they’ll make you smile.

I miss you.
Had to stop and kiss you
and tell you,

It’s my birthday baby! It ain’t nothing you can’t handle,
I’m Qui
Keeping it 100. Thanks for helping me blow out these candles.

This birthday is twice endearing to my heart
It’s the decade mark of Qui Entertaiment’s start.

We go way back.
I’m a grateful kat.

Kiss-Kiss, Meow
and Ciao, for now.