This morning I woke up smiling. Good morning to you.
Care you for coffee, tea, a joke or two?

With towel draped on forearm, I’m ready to pour.
Is that 2 lumps of sugar for the jo and of jokes, you’d like four?

Today’s menu is composed to calm the inner noise
and believe it or not – it is spired by ye ol’ 5th WARD BOYS.

In specific the track referring to Women, MMJ, and Alcohol.
The 5th WB quotes, “satisfies us all.”

What do they mean?
While you discern, I’ve got jokes for your seam.

Before I get started if I didn’t WARN you I’d be wrong
If you’re under 18 or have conservative seams, this is not your song.
These jokes are for the light-hearted on a HUMP DAY; the laid-back, the grown.
Without further adieu, let’s get-it-on:

Q. Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

That’s when Jim turned to Mary and said, “I’ll admit it. I know that I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives over forty miles away.” #CrazyDrive

Mary responds, “You know I read somewhere that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?”

#GoLONGER #YouCanDoIt 😛

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I’m grooming. Do you know what that means?” The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.”

Q. How do you make a pool table laugh?
A. Tickle its balls.

I’ve got several more jokes – how much time do you have to read? –Before you go take a toke of some organic seed:

Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.

Q: What do you call a stoners wife?
A: Mississippi. (Mrs. Hippy)

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high.

STONER’S DEEP THOUGHT OF THE DAY: If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.
True.

Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers?
A: Malnutrition. 

Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet?
A: A joint in each hand!

This next joke is a story and calls into question the fate
of a pot head, a sex addict and alcoholic at the Pearly Gates:

At this point you probably want to stop by the church. True?
So, the next installment is certainly gossip for the pew:

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. (cue the music “dun-dun-dunnn“).

It’s HUMP DAY alas, and the weekend is near the brink.
I’m off today so let’s happy hour @ noon. I’m buying drinks:

BOB: Hi, my name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic.
CUST.SVC. REP:“Sir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous.”
BOB:“I know, I’m just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.”

If alcohol can damage your short term memory…Imagine the damage alcohol can do. —Signed Recovering Alcoholic (in progress).

Eminem is working as a bartender when he notices his alcoholic friend walk in.
He orders a drink, so Eminem reluctantly pours him one.
When he’s done, he asks Eminem for another serving.
Eminem slams his hands on the bar and tells him, “You only get ONE SHOT.”

EOE is extremely important on day one.
lest all of your secrets be undone.

In an alcohol factory the regular tester died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the factory wondered how to send him away. They tested him. They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, ”It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.” “That’s correct”, said the boss. Another glass. ”It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels.” “Correct. ”The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it. “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who’s the father!” The boss collapsed!!

###

Now, don’t you go getting all saucy on me, if you are at work at this hour.
The MOS: Covet not your neighbors spouse or your reputation could sour.

It’s an old wives tale
backed by “time will tell and ass-holes will smell.”

Good morning, again, may your day not reflect thirst,
I’m Qui
Thanks for kicking it with me. Now, discreetly share these jokes at work.

Oh? You didn’t get the 5th Ward Boys reference at all?
Well, peep the video for more clarity and jam it out, y’all.

About the joke material, 😛 I got REFERENCES:

 MMJ: jokes: http://www.jokes4us.com

Dirty jokes: https://bestlifeonline.com

Alcohol jokes: https://upjoke.com