While sitting in the living room this weekend wondering what in the world I’m going to do with all of my “mommy time” when the kid starts college this fall, a show titled, “BEING A GROWN UP” came on [TruTV] and did an awesome job of recapping how I got to this place and gave insight into where this “grown up thing” may be going from here. Have you seen the show? Regardless, I have to share this episode for others abroad who might be suffering from some of the symptoms or just need a little grown up wisdom. First subject to tackle is gift giving. Every couple has anniversaries…

Al Jackson: Look, you’re a grown up and it’s important to understand how important it is to buy your spouse the right gift.

Erin Foley: Whenever they mention anything like, “I could use that, yeah I need that,” — write it down, make a list.

Christina Pazitzky: when you’re younger and this is a couple, you don’t know each other and you can buy them anything, cart blanche, like I’m gonna surprise him with this and he’s going to love it. But then when you actually know somebody you know there are like5 things that really excite him.

John Caparulo: I don’t know how to buy my wife a gift, after an engagement ring and a car. I can’t really top those things…

Al: Any occasion when your wife goes, “It’s no big deal,” it’s a huge deal!

Tom Segura: Here’s when you give gifts: on birthdays, because we’re married and Christmas and nothing else.

Christina: That’s actually right.

Kira Soltanovich: My husband gives me grown up gifts — which means me and a korean woman with an hour by ourselves.

John: My wife got me a bide seat and anybody who knows me, knows that I like to have a cleaner but. It might be my favorite thing in the world — I mean next to her, of course.

Erin:  Women over analyze every gift. Maybe she’s like, “Oh I want to stretch more, I want a yoga mat” – then you get her a yoga mat and she says, “I’m fat! Is this not good enough for you?“

Greg Fitzsimmons: Me and my wife exchanging gifts usually involves one person buying the other person a gift card drawn from our joint checking account. It’s got all of the romance as a prisoner exchange.

HOW TO DEAL with your GROWN UP BODY

It was 2-years ago while doing leg stretches that I threw my back out. I couldn’t believe something that was nothing turned into what seemed like a never ending (14-days at least) ordeal. The pain was unreal and I could not walk at all for about 3 of those days. I was tickled pink about it. I laughed so hard, I thought I’d get an ab cramp, (thank God I didn’t), but just to know that I was stretching – something I’ve been doing for years – put me on the injury reserve list, was hilarious. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone:

Fahim Anwar: You just have to accept the fact that your body is breaking down now that you’re older. When you used to get hurt, the doctor would run tests and do X-Rays, but now they just look you straight in the eye and go “You’re 30.”

Erin:  After you turn 30 just go ahead and have a chiropractor and physical therapist on emergency dial. Just go ahead, because you’re going to bend over and then you’re like, ‘BLAH! My life is over – there goes my back, there goes my knee.’

Mo Mandel: The saddest thing about getting an injury as an adult is that the cause of the injury isn’t cool anymore. When you’re were a kid your injury was because you were skateboarding, now you get injured because you slept weird.  ‘What happened to you? — Aw. A nap.’

Kira: I was buttering bread the other day — jacked me up for a week.

Greg:  Here’s my wife favorite story:  I get up one morning to urinate, lifted the lid and threw my back out. That makes her laugh. Nice woman.

Kira: You have to stretch out your elbow, did you know that? When you’re a grown up, when you butter bread.

Mo:  It’s never a good idea to Google your injuries because the internet just makes them seem worse. It’s like “Oh your leg hurts? It’s probably cancer. Your eye hurts? Probably cancer. You already have cancer? It’s probably aids.”

Al:  You can not trust the internet – trust your buddy whose had 10 beers he knows what he’s talking about.

Erin:  When you’re were young, you were like, “Get me a doctor!” but now you’re like “Shhhh. How bad is it? I mean, yes, I can see the bone but can I make this work from home?“

Full of natural energy I’ve long hailed that I’m a hot chocolate girl, but then one late night when there was a deadline due… suddenly I realized hot chocolate is for kids. I’m obviously not a kid anymore.

Erin: When you’re younger you have so much unbridled energy and now as you get older and you take on more responsibilities you’re just like, “I’m gonna need more caffein.

Asif Ali: It’s the only thing that’s not medicine that we’re just allowed to take copious amounts of.

Fahim: Coffee seems to be the socially acceptable way to caffeinate. You, you can’t be at your cubicle with a 2-liter of Surge Cola. You’re a grown up now.

Asif: I have a theory that energy drinks are going to be straight up illegal 10-years from now. They smell like battery acid. When you drink them, it does something to your body – like no ones heart should beat that fast.

Tom: I do not drink energy drinks, because I do not participate in the X-Games and I don’t re-enact scenes from the Fast and Furious, so I kind of stay away from that.

Christina: Can I tell you what annoys baristas as a former barista: obviously #1. Know your order when you get up there.

Al: I remember going and watching my dad get coffee, he would order a coffee from a women who turned around and poured it into a cup then turned back around and gave it to him. Now every coffee order is like some riddle.

Christina: #2. Don’t ask your barista to customize everything to death. Okay? Don’t ask them to put 2 1/2 splenda’s in it. That’s what the condiment section is for. You can do that yourself man. #3. Don’t order decaf. You’re ordering decaf? Screw you!

Tom: How much can you have? As much as you want. You’re a grown up. Shake like a tweeter. I don’t care.

Kira: Your local barista is a drug dealer, they’re like “Yeah, you like that. You like that? What you need? I got mocha, I got pumpkin latte. What’chu need?

Asif: Theres nobody just standing by the coffee pot like a bartender saying, “Hey buddy, you’ve had way too much.”

Erin:  I can’t drink any more caffein like after 11 or 12, otherwise it will effect me the whole day. Like I’ll start shaking and making a lot eye contact – I turn into a crazy person. I’m up at 2-o’clock in the morning like, “Yeah, I should do that – I should paint the house.“

Growing up is fun, though being grown is quite the learning test
I do a lot of things well, but unsure of what is ‘my best!’

Gift giving paints me the receiver and I’m glad to be on the receiving end.
My guy is quite the high school beau – we’ve put a couple of decades in.

We are grown ups by every sense of the word and honestly I think it’s cool.
No kids reside in our domestic nest – one in occupation and one in school.

I like sipping the bean – a good strong cup of jo –
energy refueling to maintain my busy and high powered to and fro.

But I like Erin, can’t drink too much
especially if there is DUTCH BROS. in my cup.

Starbucks has been kicked to Orion and with it a pack of cigs.
I don’t smoke or hang at the barista spoke, I’ve opted for a Keurig.

Mocha latte is my a.m. quip.
I do it with chocolate and sweet condensed milk.

I do it with my hubby before the sun comes up.
There’s a lot of fore play to the day in that cup.

Oh the fun in being a grown up. Do I miss my kids? Sure.
I’m Qui
Enjoying life, with no adolescent strife. Living HAPPY is the only cure.

I’m happy this morning to be a grown up!
For you I bid goodness, a good cup of jo and a lot of love.
I appreciate you coming by. Here’s a big )))HUG(((
Come Again.